Hidden agendas do not remain dormant; they eventually emerge; and when they do, they cause surprises, and often problems, but they do not need to destroy a relationship. When they are addressed directly, reciprocal accommodation can take place. As long as there is mutual care and concern, loving members of a couple will find a way to freely express their needs to each other and make reasonable attempts to fulfill them. In most cases their efforts will be amply rewarded. 

So, is there a case for love? I think so. But admittedly love does not conquer all; and by itself it is not enough to sustain a relationship. On the other hand, love can be a powerfully motivating force to initiate a committed relationship, and an incentive to do everything you can to explore it, remedy it, nurture it, and preserve it.

For first-time marriages, the problems might be power struggles over how much time partners spend with each other, how many activities do they engage in with or without each other, and whether or not they make their spouse their number one priority.

Both speaker and listener play an important role in bringing about good communication. The speaker should say what he truly means and be clear and unambiguous in his statements. The listener should be fully attentive. Both should take precautionary steps to avoid misinterpretations. Examples of breakdowns in communication between partners are given to illustrate the points made in this article. Since neither gender wins an Emmy for communication, to be fair to both genders, the author will use "he" and "she" at different times with the understanding that all of his points are relevant to both genders.

Getting your message across to another person is the essence of communication. In a couple relationship, each person must play two roles: he must be eager to express himself honestly, and he must be warmly receptive to the communications of his partner. Dr. Gross presents thirteen potential communication problems which he elaborates with examples drawn from his practice in marriage and couple counseling.

Please note: Neither men nor women can claim an Emmy for communication. In order to be gender fair, the author will alternate between "he" and "she" with the understanding that all of his points are relevant to both sexes.

"All the world is on the tip of the tongue" Talmud, Brachot

This article addresses the issues of couples who say, "We have a communication problem," "We're always fighting." It will be shown that in a reasonably short time, couples can master respectful arguing which will result in successful complaint and problem-solving skills which are a necessary ingredient for mutual understanding and a harmonious relationship.

Note: For the sake of grammatical simplicity, I generally use "he" and "his" with the understanding that all points made in the article are relevant to both genders.

Good communication will help you Enhance Positive and
Decrease Negative interactions with your partner by enabling both of you to:
   1. Avoid Misunderstandings, Fights and Emotional Distance
   2. Disagree, Yet Argue Respectfully and Constructively
   3. Know When and How to Talk, and When and How to Listen
   4. Resolve Problems Through Discussion
   5. Engage in Frank Discussions in Which Each of You a) Reveals to Your Partner Your Agenda of Needs,Wishes, and Expectations and b) Develops a Clear Understanding of How to Fulfill This Agenda to Your Partner's Satisfaction
   6. Share Your Life With Your Spouse in Love, Companionship and Bonding