For years, parenting experts have advised us to use tools such as reward and punishment to discipline our children.  That seemed to make sense.  It was logical.  If we want our children to exhibit a certain behavior, reward them.  Give them a treat.  Give them a clear incentive to follow direction, get good grades, respect their elders, etc.  Naturally, it follows that to stop unwanted behavior we should “punish” our children.  We yell, spank, threaten and over-react to send a very clear message to our young ones that this is a behavior we ought not see again.  Does this method of discipline work?  Maybe for a moment, but at a high cost.