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- A Glimpse Into Dr. Gross' Marriage Counseling and Communication Program
A Glimpse Into Dr. Gross' Marriage Counseling and Communication Program
- By Reuben Gross
- Published March 3, 2008
- Relationships , General Themes
- Unrated
Good Communicators Know When and How to Talk, and When and How to Listen
The Talk/Listen Technique
As part of your training in communication you will not only learn the "Talk/Listen Technique" but you will practice it with your partner under my supervision. One of you will choose a new --or an old-- but unsolved personal complaint or problem, and you and your partner will discuss it calmly and thoroughly within the structure of your newly learned "Talk/Listen Technique." In this mode of discussion, disagreements and arguments are processed within a safe and secure structure. The technique also guarantees each person an equal opportunity to participate since both partners take turns at talking and listening. This effective mode of arguing gives each partner an opportunity to express himself in full detail while also making sure that his partner listened and understood everything that he said.
It Takes Both Parties to Solve an Interpersonal Problem
Successful collaboration on a solution to any problem cannot take place until both parties have had their full say on the matter, and each person is confident that the other person understands his position. The "Talk/Listen Technique" is structured in such a way that there is simply no room for not listening, interrupting, yelling, insulting, or any other negative behavior during
the discussion. After both of you present your arguments on the issue that was chosen for discussion, you will go into Phase Two of the technique which is the problem-resolution stage.
To reinforce what you and your spouse will have just learned, I may lend you a tape of a professionally prepared script of two actors playing the roles of husband and wife arguing respectfully with each other about a certain problem using the "Talk/Listen Technique." The tape can be played in the car on your way home following your counseling session. Or, you can listen to it at another time when both of you are relaxed and have time to analyze and discuss the taped "argument."
The "Talk/Listen Technique" is Especially Valuable For Argumentative Couples
Both you and your partner will be encouraged to use the "Talk/Listen Technique" as preventive medicine when you are about to discuss a potentially explosive topic. You will also be encouraged to use this technique when you find yourselves in the midst of a heated argument and you recognize that you are at the brink of a shouting match. Further, even if a fight has already started and one of you realizes that the argument is off track, it is never to late for that person to stop the fight, gain their partner's agreement to access this technique and start the argument all over again using this highly effective approach.
As part of your training in communication you will not only learn the "Talk/Listen Technique" but you will practice it with your partner under my supervision. One of you will choose a new --or an old-- but unsolved personal complaint or problem, and you and your partner will discuss it calmly and thoroughly within the structure of your newly learned "Talk/Listen Technique." In this mode of discussion, disagreements and arguments are processed within a safe and secure structure. The technique also guarantees each person an equal opportunity to participate since both partners take turns at talking and listening. This effective mode of arguing gives each partner an opportunity to express himself in full detail while also making sure that his partner listened and understood everything that he said.
It Takes Both Parties to Solve an Interpersonal Problem
Successful collaboration on a solution to any problem cannot take place until both parties have had their full say on the matter, and each person is confident that the other person understands his position. The "Talk/Listen Technique" is structured in such a way that there is simply no room for not listening, interrupting, yelling, insulting, or any other negative behavior during
To reinforce what you and your spouse will have just learned, I may lend you a tape of a professionally prepared script of two actors playing the roles of husband and wife arguing respectfully with each other about a certain problem using the "Talk/Listen Technique." The tape can be played in the car on your way home following your counseling session. Or, you can listen to it at another time when both of you are relaxed and have time to analyze and discuss the taped "argument."
The "Talk/Listen Technique" is Especially Valuable For Argumentative Couples
Both you and your partner will be encouraged to use the "Talk/Listen Technique" as preventive medicine when you are about to discuss a potentially explosive topic. You will also be encouraged to use this technique when you find yourselves in the midst of a heated argument and you recognize that you are at the brink of a shouting match. Further, even if a fight has already started and one of you realizes that the argument is off track, it is never to late for that person to stop the fight, gain their partner's agreement to access this technique and start the argument all over again using this highly effective approach.
