Reminiscence: Therapeutic life review with older adults.

Early in life, it is important for our emotional health and growth to look forward, planning for the future. As we draw closer to the end of life, however, it becomes more important to look back and enjoy the finished product.

We need to talk over our accumulated experience, reviewing and reminiscing to make sense of it all, and to come to terms with the choices we have made. To help an someone with this important process:

• Listen without correction or criticism. Older adults are presenting their version of reality; our version belongs to another generation.
  
  
• Encourage elders to tell their anecdotes and old stories. If someone seems depressed or withdrawn, we can remind the person: "Tell me again about when I was born. I can't remember that town we lived in very well. I was too young. I'd like to hear about it."
• Be patient with repetition. Sometimes people need to tell the same story often to come to terms with the experience. Sometimes that's the only story they can remember, and it's important to show that they still can remember. <br>
• Encourage older adults to cover various ages and stages: "What was it like when you were little?" "How was it growing up on that farm (in the city streets, overseas)?" "Did teenagers act out when you were young? What did you do?" "What was World War II like for you?" 
  
• If the conversation dwells on sad or depressing topics, listen as long as you can, but then gently turn the conversation: "I can hear that was a sad time for you, but let's talk about something more cheerful for a while. Tell me about when you and Dad got married."
  
• Pull out the old photos and talk over what you see together. You may want to make notes on the backs. If this activity seems to arouse anxiety, validate the feelings.
• Some people reminisce for a long time; some have shorter attention spans. Either is okay.
  
  Copyright © Nancy Stockwell, LCSW, San Diego, California (858) 492-8620