The following is my contribution to Lois Einhorn’s book, Forgiveness and Child Abuse, Would YOU Forgive (Robert D. Reed Publishers, 2006). I was included because I was Lois’ therapist when her memories surfaced. Others among fifty three contributors include: Mumia Abu-Jamal, Patch Adams, M.D., Edward Asner, Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, Laura Davis, Thomas Eagleton, Albert Ellis, Lynne Finney, Linda Hogan, Daniel Quinn, Pete Seeger, Bernie Siegel, M.D., Gerry Spence, and Kenneth Wapnick. Autographed copies of the book are available at a discount through the author‘s website, http://loiseinhorn.com

Contrary to popular belief, depression is not a "normal" part of the aging process, but a treatable mental health condition. Symptoms of depression include feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, guilt, isolation and unrealistically negative beliefs about oneself. These feelings not only affect the depressed person, but also their family members and loved ones.

Depression is unlikely to go away by itself, and the guidance of a professional counselor, in addition to a physician, is often warranted. In fact, psychotherapy has been found to very likely help the depressed senior live a happier, more fulfilling life and decrease the risk of suicide.

There are a number of things a loved one or caregiver can do to help alleviate a depressed senior's depression.

These include:
* Making sure the depressed person sleeps and eats
regularly.
* Reinforce rewarding experiences and activities
* Explore spiritual/religious beliefs as a source of
    personal comfort and support
* Allow the depressed person to tell his or her story
   through techniques such as guided journaling, letter
   writing, autobiography or collage.

A counselor or psychotherapist trained in narrative therapy can be particularly helpful for helping seniors find meaning and a sense of integrity and ease their feelings of depression.

Narrative therapy is particularly helpful in helping depressed clients reconcile the inevitable losses incurred over a lifetime and find meaning in those losses in the context of their lives through the telling of the story of their lives. The role of the narrative therapist is to bear witness to the complexity and rich nuances of the evolving story and collaborate with the client in to make sense of his or her losses and find healing and growth through the process of reconciling those losses and acknowledging the contributions they have made in their lives.

Call or e-mail Beth Patterson at 303-817-8571 or bethpatt@mac.com

Feelings of pain from the loss of a loved one can be hard on our emotions, but are a normal and healthy part of life.  Feelings of grief from even small losses in day-to-day life transitions at home or work can also make us feel overwhelmed, but are also normal.  The hard part is to get through the door that leads to a place of healing and peace.

In my practice, I use a strength and health based approach. I believe that each human being possesses inherent wisdom to access their strengths and resilience in times of suffering. In the journey of grief and loss, your strengths can be obscured by the intensity of your feelings of helplessness and loss.  I can help you create some space around that intensity, to give a new perspective and hope for change, transformation, and transition in your life. 

 Allowing ourselves to deeply feel our pain in a safe environment can open us to acceptance and peace. By allowing ourselves to experience and express our suffering, we can see that suffering is common to all, and that understanding helps us find a meaningful way to grow, transform hopelessness into hope and possibility. When you experience your own unique grief, you can tap into its universality which will lessen feelings of hopelessness and isolation. You will also feel a deeper connection with others and the human condition.  This is the transpersonal and transformative work of healing grief.

If you are experiencing grief or loss, I can help you navigate life’s difficult transitions and transform them into healing and growth.  
Call me at 303-817-8571 or e-mail me at bethpatt@mac.com.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, stressed, or maxed out?  Is your anxiety destroying your social, work, and/or love life?  Do you wish you had the ability to form new relationships with people, but are too nervous to introduce yourself?  Anxiety/stress feels terrible and can be brought on by many situations, including the pressures of work, deadlines, the weight of time, the reluctance to meet new people, etc...  Uncontrolled stress and panic attacks can cause sleep disturbances due to racing thoughts and can keep people up at night and lead to problems staying focused during the day.
Here are a few simple solutions to help reduce your anxiety and stress.

1. Get off the “hamster wheel.”  Anxiety can make your mind go over the same thoughts in a continuous loop.  Cyclical thinking doesn’t get you anywhere and is counter-productive to eliminating stress.  For example, you might notice thinking the same thing, such as lying in bed and repeatedly thinking of your “to-do list.” Continuing these destructive mental cycles only increases the stress levels, fostering more negative thinking.  The continuous thoughts increase the anxiety and keep the stress heightened.  Be aware of your thoughts and get off the wheel.

2. Don’t forget to breathe.  When people get stressed and overwhelmed, their breathing tends to become shallow and their muscles tighten up.  Take a few moments to breathe and relax.  Regulating your breathing in times of stress helps your body to calm down by ensuring you take in the normal amount of oxygen.

3. Let out some steam.  Imagine you have a balloon in your body.  Now, imagine stuffing emotions down into this balloon every time you get irritated and frustrated.  Just as helium balloons pop when they get full, so do the emotional balloons within us.  The overwhelming feelings of anxiety and panic attacks are side effects from the popping of our emotional balloons.  Talk or write about your frustrations and anger so you can let out the air of the balloon and prevent it from popping.

4. Work-it-out.  Exercising, working-out, and physical activities are healthy ways to release anxiety and stress.  During physical activities, our bodies release “happy chemicals” (neurotransmitters, such as endorphins and serotonin) which help calm the body.  When you feel stressed or overwhelmed, go to the gym or take a walk around your neighborhood.

If you are struggling with anxiety and you notice your relationships are being impacted, you can benefit from working with a therapist.  As a therapist, I provide individual, premarital, couples, and family therapy in San Diego to help people create healthier relationships and feel increasingly satisfied in their lives.   For more relationship and personal advice, please visit her blog at http://www.sandiegocounseling.blogspot.com or her website at http://www.estesetherapy.com.

This article is about how to feel better when you are feeling overwhelmed with negative or sad thoughts. Reading and understanding this article is a good way to figure out how to feel better now and continue feeling better in the future. If you are feeling any intense negative emotion, such as anger, depression, jealousy, grief etc., this process of creating space between You and you may help.

The decision to work with a therapist is never straightforward, but there are times in life when we just need that extra emotional support.  While we may have loved ones who will help us through rough times, it is often a good idea to seek the less biased support of a professional when dealing with life's difficult emotional challenges.

Many people who go into therapy have good experiences. The patient feels understood and well supported by the therapist, who uses his skills to facilitate the patient's discovery and healing process.  But what if your therapy leaves you feeling frustrated?  What if you believe your therapist isn't "getting you"?  What if you aren't receiving the outcome you expected?