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When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism By Martin M. AntonyRichard P. Swinson ( New Harbinger Publications )
Release Date: 1998-12
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $16.95
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Product Description
"When Perfect Isn't Good Enough" explores the nature of perfectionism and offers a step-by-step program of cognitive-behavioral strategies for overcoming it.
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 awful, useful only if you had no clue that you were a perfectionist
Hardly user friendly, though it attempts to be a book for a lay audience, it fails miserably succeeding only in writing a watered down academic article. If you are a fan of superficial platitudes masquerading as strategy, then this is book for you. Might as well save your 10 or 13 dollars, google perfectionism, and read the ehow version--you're getting the same thing minus the money and the time wasted sifting through bad writing and even worse style.
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For all perfectionists out there ( knut1976 )
It was a blow for me when I learned that I am a perfectionist. I started reading about it, and this was my first book. It was hard from time to time to face the truth that this book was presenting me.
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 Quite a let down, inadequate for "discouraged perfectionists" ( raczbooks )
After reading Leman's "The Birth Order Book" and seeing that my wife and myself have been struggling with the predicted first-born power struggles and head butting for the last 10 years, both of us as "discouraged perfectionists" were looking for a book to offer pragmatic solutions for change.
In looking at the overwhelmingly positive reviews for this book, I purchased it. The book has some major draw-backs:
1. The text addresses perfectionism according to Hewitt & Flett, and Frost; however, the typical treatment of perfectionism is one usually of an aggressive perfectionist, such as a "nag" or a critical boss; this is not reflective of the "discouraged perfectionist" and often leaves one thinking "ok... this would be a good strategy if I was a freak-out, but it doesn't really apply to me"
2. The authors have an ideological bias that is evident throughout the text which I would describe as "open-minded liberalism" combined with "anti-religious," which is really quite disturbing. Examples that stick out in my mind include:
p46 - a comparison of "the right way" to wash dishes is compared with "wrong" ways leads to reader to accept that "washing" may entail soaking dishes in water without soap is somehow equally acceptable (as if sanitation is invalid as a basis for a "right way")
p50 - Attending church services are an outlet of attempting to confirm perfectionistic beliefs rather than seeking out experiences that "challenge" those beliefs
p180 - where a therapist convinces a patient that the daughter comes home from college with a lip-piercing isn't as big of a deal as it feels
3. The demeanor the authors use is almost as if they are not addressing a condition that affects people in very personal ways which causes internal conflict and real heart-ache. They might as well be addressing bicycle repair, how to implement work-arounds in Chebyshev filter design software, or dog-training. These are exactly the kinds of individuals I strongly suspect of total hypocrisy, and I wonder how screwed up their own marriages and children are
In conclusion, this book may be very good for a certain cross-section of people (which is why I gave it two stars instead of one), i.e. perfectionists who are obsessive, angry, controlling neat-freaks. But for the rest of those who might be considered relatively "normal" or who are just looking to relate better with others, this book will probably be inadequate.
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 What I would have written ( stutzmanmba )
This book contains exactly what I was looking for the past 10 years. I've learned much about myself. I would probably not read the last section b/c it's just a repeat of what's in the book, but being a perfectionist, I had to. If you can stand it, only read what applies to you in the last section and save your time for something else.
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There is help out there!
I've struggled my whole life with a number of issues: perfectionism, low self-esteem, self-destructive behaviour.
This despite the fact that I'm intelligent. Intelligence isn't always enough. Some of us need practical help to see where our thinking patterns and actions are flawed or self-defeating. Without external help it's difficult to be objective about this.
"When Perfect isn't Good Enough" is a practical self-help book to assist you in identifying and changing perfectionistic thinking patterns. I only bought the book recently, but I've already been bowled over by the number of insights I've gained from its pages. I plan to study and fully integrate the info over time. I can only imagine how doing so will contribute to my productivity!
Other exceptional self-help books that I would like to recommend are:
* The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
* The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
* Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
None of these books are quick-fixes. Integrating their contents takes a lot of work and courage, but the results are of inestimable value!
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