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Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness By Tim MurphyLoriann Hoff Oberlin ( Da Capo Press )
Release Date: 2005-10-19
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $15.95
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Product Description
In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. For the first time, Murphy and Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. In clear, compassionate language, they cover everything from the childhood origins of the condition to the devastating effect it has on work and personal relationships to the latest research on the subject, and offer practical, proven strategies for the angry person as well as the individual who finds himself the target of someone else's passive-aggression.
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 Thumbs up
I've been getting pretty lucky lately with the books I'm being assigned, (I'm a freelance publicist's ghost reader) So far this year this one is my third favorite behind, No more mr. nice guy #2 and at #1- Sarah Shikitao-Brown's Tao Cycle Therapy, Tao Cycle Therapy: Natural Happiness via Self Directed Cure for Chronic Anxiety & Depression [Updated 2008 3nd Edition] I guess I should start one of those listamania lists. So anyway, I highly recommend all three. -Allison
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 Must Read for any PA Personality or Couple
This is one of the only well written and full description of the PA personality I've seen. If you suspect you are dealing with Passive Aggression, it will help pave the way for healing.
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 Ok, Ultimately Disappointing for Me ( nefarious_shadow )
This is a book I would NOT put into my personal library...I didn't learn a whole lot more about passive-aggressive behavior than I knew going into the reading. There were relatively few "examples" in this book...and for this type of book and this guy being a therapist (and congressman...he does beat us over the head with this fact throughout the book and it was more than a little annoying), I would have expected far more "stories" or case studies...and they just aren't here. This leaves the book a very dry and relatively uninteresting read, as he actually deals very little with actual passive-aggressive behavior and goes off at length on nearly ever other type of disorder that can be associated with PA behavior. I might recommend it to someone totally unfamiliar with PA-ness...but for me, this book left much to be desired. Additionally, the suggestions (beyond seek out a therapist/counselor, were excessively vague (another area where full examples to illustrate the author's point would have been extremely helpful). I rate it a C and hope that I can pull some useful additional reading from the notes.
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 Leave this one at the library
This book claims to be co-authored by congressman Tim Murphy, PhD and Loriann Hoff Oberlin, but with her openly advertised book "Writing for Quick Cash" (scroll up!) it becomes apparent that this book is an offering of her opinion while piggybacking on his reputation - all for quick cash. What this book really is: a manual for feminists on how to assign blame in order to look and feel better about themselves as women.
In the first pages ("About the Authors") she openly declares her feminist agenda by claiming her book "Surviving Separation and Divorce" was written to encourage women. Beware, male readers - sexist programming ahead. Being born with a Y chromosome was no crime I chose to commit, yet reading through the examples of loser men going to court after being irresponsible with their children did nothing to strengthen me personally or help me identify or overcome passive-aggressive behavior in myself or others.
In the book I noticed several names and explanations on passive-aggressiveness and the effects it has, but the title of the book is OVERCOMING Passive-Aggression. On page 140 she says, "When your marriage ends..." When!? Is the only solution to passive-aggressive behavior in recognizing it in others and avoiding or exploiting them? I hope not.
This book was a complete waste of my time, and I hope for the good of all that there is a book out there truly about overcoming passive-aggression that will benefit the individual who reads it and those around them.
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LIFE CHANGING BOOK
This has truly changed my life. I have been mistreated by my husband's sister for 17 years, it has been a horrible experience. The little digs, rude comments, setting me up. Then playing innocent victim. (The example scenario page with man and his new fiance and his sister, could be my true life excerpt). I never understood and then I read this book. Now I get it. What makes her do what she does. It has been so very enlightening and such a relief to understand. It was never even about me. It is about her, and her low self esteem and jealousy. Although I still don't want her in my life, I no longer have such bitter feelings for her. I feel for her. It has helped me in everyday life to be more compassionate to others. The anger we see usually has nothing to do with us. This book has made me a kinder person. A MUST READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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