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No More Mr. Nice Guy! By Robert A. Glover ( Running Press )
Release Date: 2003-02-04
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $16.95
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Product Description
Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.
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 this book was scary...
After identifying concepts within myself that would be classified as `nice guy-itis' (be it having cancelled dates without explanation or apology often; be it those who put demands on my time and efforts without regard to my feelings and rarely reciprocated; or to hear stories of betrayal from female friends who dated or preferred jerks than to a nice guy (or me)); this book was for me.
I've read many self-help books on improving oneself. But many of them concentrated on what to do and how to do it while glossing over `why' to do it. This book addressed an aspect as to `why' by describing/discussing it through `nice guys' and associated behaviors, problems and consequences. By addressing an aspect of `why,' it helped me understand many aspects of what I dealt with amongst others (especially what I was doing wrong).
First, I am basing my review from the unabridged audiobook. But after hearing (or reading) the descriptions that the author makes of those nice guys (and or his clients/patients), I felt that the author wrote this book on my experiences alone. His explanations to the nice guy phenomena (be it lack of fathers-father figures, reversal of gender roles, social/cultural norms) are sound (but, questionable for debate as a/the cause).
Also, re-evaluating the motives of a nice guy does make a person wonder if there is genuineness in what a nice guy does. I admit that some of the described circumstances/situations which questions the motives of a `nice guy' aren't (or shouldn't) meant to be suspect (i.e. hidden contract) because then it would imply that almost everything done for others is based on hidden motive. So being nice (or giving) is not inherently wrong. However, when those we desire `favor' from (be it lover, girlfriend/boyfriend, person who owes money, etc.) take advantage of being nice with little or no return of effort (and the `nice' person continues with rewarding that behavior), then it's important to understand the logic (and flaws) of that behavior and make changes for the betterment of oneself.
This book is a good read if you've ever had questions regarding being a nice guy or dealing with the consequences of being a nice guy.
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"No More Mr. Nice Guy!"
Good concepts and explanations with thoughts and questions to consider but a little on the "New Age" and self-actualization side of life and how to live life.
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 long and boring.... ( eddymc33 )
long and boring.... Hold on to your NUTS is the best relationship book out there.
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 Everything I wish I would've learned growing up. ( kevin26521 )
This book is everything the other reviews say and more. This book is the blue print for us men to reclaim ourselves from society and families that have restrained and "tamed" who we really are. This book provided a road map for the maze of finding myself. I wish I had found this book 10 years ago. For example the book gave me perspective and some answers regarding: confidence, relationships with my fiancee, friends and family. His insight is deep and genuine and can be applied to ALL stages of life. This is a must read for every nice guy.
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A revelation....
I read this book with a highlighter. It isn't very big, being only 175 pages long. But, each page has a new and challenging thought. The cover has a guy taking off his jacket, preparing to go to war. The war is with yourself. I found myself in these pages. I realized why I avoid family functions. I realized why I make unspoken contracts with people who don't know I'm expecting something I'm too ashamed to ask for.
If you are on the wrong end of an exploitative relationship (again), if you are frustrated and full of resentment, if you have no friends, then you need this book.
A former nice guy....
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Addiction
