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Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good
By Miriam, Ph.D. ElliottMariam, Ph.D. Adderholdt ( Free Spirit Publishing )
Release Date: 1999-07
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $12.95
Price: $10.36
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Product Description
Help for Superkids, workaholics, type A's, straight A's, procrastinators, overachievers, and caring adults. This revised and updated edition of a Free Spirit classic includes new research and statistics on the causes and consequences of perfectionism and new strategies for avoiding (or escaping) the perfectionism trap.
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Product Reviews:
  good book, but designed for teenagers 
I purchased this book for myself...I am 37 years old. What I didn't realize until I bought the book is that it is a book written for teenagers. It is a good book, but not for a grown adult. I wished they would have specified that more in the description.
  Required reading for today's highly pressured teens ( geminimom )
Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? Is a well written and accessible self-help book for teens. It speaks directly to the reader in a conversational tone. Chapters are organized into ten sections, with headings such as, "Why People Become Perfectionists", "What Perfectionism Does to Your Mind", and "When and How to Get Help Coping".

The book contains a quick and easy self-assessment quiz to see how serious a problem perfectionism might be for the individual. A table illustrates the differences between the pursuit of excellence (a healthy desire to achieve) and perfectionism (unhealthy striving for perfection). Quotes from real teens are interspersed throughout the text, along with comments from well known historical and contemporary figures.

Teens can learn to recognize their perfectionist tendencies, understand why these thoughts and actions are ultimately detrimental, and discover how to change their attitude and behavior. There's quite a lot of information packed into this 123 page guide! I would not recommend it for kids younger than about 12, as there are entries dealing with violence, the dangers of eating disorders, and self-mutilation. Examples of celebrities who died as a result of their eating disorders, and plain talk about the practice of "cutting" are probably best discussed with a parent after reading.

I like the practical advice about balancing work and play. The advice here is meaningful and easy to follow. It's also interesting to note that some very famous thinkers were unhappy people who did not consider themselves to be successful. A quote form Leonardo DaVinci sums up his feelings, "I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have." Marie Curie, who discovered radium, once said, "I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done."

Other topics addressed include overcommitment, setting reasonable standards, how parents may contribute to perfectionism, and how procrastination relates to perfectionism. The tips for procrastinators are real life solutions that can make a difference.

The final section includes statistics on teen suicide and signs of a teen in crisis. It should be read by parents as well as teens. There are lists of relevant organizations and publications at the end of each chapter. Web sites may not be accurate, as the book was published in 1999. All of the writing and recommended readings are still completely valid and valuable.
  Perfectionism ( ejsmo20022 )
This book is a good starting point for understanding the general forces behind a perfectionist's makeup. You can use this book to identify characteristics, then narrow your research more specifically to suit your interests or queries; yet it is also detailed enough to be the only book one reads if you only want general knowledge of this personality type.
  Easy reading 
Sometimes it is nice to discover a self-help book that is easy to read and written in a light-hearted tone even when discussing a difficult or serious subject. This is one such book.
  Aimed at teenagers, but still has good ideas ( lozza123 )
I didn't realise this book was aimed at teenagers when I borrowed it from the library... Nevertheless, it was still pretty informative for me.

Some parts of it were a bit depressing -- references to suicide, eating disorders and such (which, in some cases, are problems perfectionism might lead to). However, there were some enlightening moments for me to... It had never dawned on me that perfectionism & procrastinaton go hand-in-hand. (That's definitely me!!)

One light-bulb moment was when I read the chapter about perfectionism and relationships. It was time for me to accept there is no such thing as the "perfect partner", and that it's OK to be 90% happy most of the time, rather than expecting 100% all the time!

I would recommend this book to any perfectionists out there, whether you are a teenager or not. The 10 Tips for Procrastinators were handy too.

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