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Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto By Anneli Rufus ( Da Capo Press )
Release Date: 2003-01-06
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List Price: $15.95
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Product Description
The Buddha. Rene Descartes. Emily Dickinson. Greta Garbo. Bobby Fischer. J. D. Salinger: Loners, all—along with as many as 25 percent of the world's population. Loners keep to themselves, and like it that way. Yet in the press, in films, in folklore, and nearly everywhere one looks, loners are tagged as losers and psychopaths, perverts and pity cases, ogres and mad bombers, elitists and wicked witches. Too often, loners buy into those messages and strive to change, making themselves miserable in the process by hiding their true nature—and hiding from it. Loners as a group deserve to be reassessed—to claim their rightful place, rather than be perceived as damaged goods that need to be "fixed." In Party of One Anneli Rufus -- a prize-winning, critically acclaimed writer with talent to burn -- has crafted a morally urgent, historically compelling tour de force—a long-overdue argument in defense of the loner, then and now. Marshalling a polymath's easy erudition to make her case, assembling evidence from every conceivable arena of culture as well as interviews with experts and loners worldwide and her own acutely calibrated analysis, Rufus rebuts the prevailing notion that aloneness is indistinguishable from loneliness, the fallacy that all of those who are alone don't want to be, and wouldn't be, if only they knew how.
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"Loner" does not mean "psychopath"
This is book is really just a series of observations about what it's like to live "out of the box," so to speak. Our culture is based on extraverts who constantly need entertainment and group membership, so the "loners" are not understood. They're suspected to be weird, eccentric, mentally ill, child predators, or serial killers. It's very interesting, and encouraging to those of us who sometimes (or often) find it necessary to shun all human contact in order to find our center. Message: being a loner is nothing to be ashamed of.
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 A self-indulgent rage against a machine that isn't there.
Now for my self-indulgent rant about the rant that is "Party of One"
The book begins with the author speaking to her experience as a child who enjoyed playing alone. It isn't a few paragraphs before her superiority shows (the other girls didn't know France was next to Germany). Unfortunately I felt the author kept this sneering tone throughout the entire book which touches famous loners, where loners have problems in daily life and how it is alright to be a loner. Through this journey we are reminded again and again that life as a loner is a tough one when you have to deal with a society that Just Doesn't Understand. And there is little middle-ground here, the brush with which the world is pained by Mrs Rufus is a wide one and no concession is made for another other then loners and "the herd" until her husband is introduced later in the book as a sort of semi-loner. The message from the "famous loners" sections is that if you are a loner you will grow up to become a writer, or possibly Einstien.
All in all this book annoyed me with its stereotypes of loners, the division of the world into loners and non-loners, its moaning about the media use of the word "loner" negatively and its general persecution complex. I did though appreciate the descriptions of what it is like to be a loner and very much enjoyed the cover of the book. 2 stars.
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 Spoke to me in many ways
I'm not exactly an introvert, but still have many things in common with loners. I'm a person that goes to parties, but has to go outside or to a quiet area to take a breather for a hour or so every time. The best parties IMHO are those that are outside, so a person can go to a quiet area, instead of being trapped in a room or rooms.
She pointed out some things I had not really looked at in my own life, and explained things I didn't understand. I'm thinking there are lots of people like me, that like to be around people, to a point, then just have to get away to decompress.
I'm also thinking it would be a good book to give to people that are not loners, so they might get a little bit of understanding.
So, if you have ever felt overwhelmed with the "mob," you may find this book speaks to you.
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 From Childhood's Hour
A solid -- perhaps too solid -- addition to the literature of solitude. Party of One makes for diverting reading. Unfortunately, Ms Rufus adds nothing to the subject that Florence King didn't already cover with far more scholarship, wit, and dazzle in her 1992 book With Charity Toward None: A Fond Look at Misanthropy. And, make no mistake, true loners ARE misanthropes, a far better title than loner.
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Disappointing ( eb61 )
More of a defensive, us vs. them rant than a thoughtful exploration of the pleasures of solitude. The author also fails to address the paradox of whether there can really be an "us" composed of people who are loners by choice.
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Addiction
