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Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism By Sandy Hotchkiss ( Free Press )
Release Date: 2003-08-07
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $14.00
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Product Description
In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation.Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.
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 Why Is It Always About YOU? hits the mark ( iceberg141 )
This book very accurately describes how narcissists become how they are in the first place, but even more clearly describes how you can be ensnared by them. I learned a great deal about myself and why I was vulnerable to codependent relationships with narcissistic individuals, and strategies to prevent this in the future. Most importantly, the author gives very practical and helpful ways to cope and thrive when exposed to a narcissist. The section on the narcissist in the workplace was phenomenal; this applies to the dynamics of a church with a narcissistic pastor at the helm, or any organization, for that matter, dominated by a self-absorbed individual(s).
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Knowledge is Power
This book provided exactly what I needed to understand the underlying issues of a person with narcissism. It was in-depth, but in laymen's terms so the understanding came quite easily. I am better able to deal with the narcissist that I am in love with and the one that I work for. But most importantly, I'm better able to detect these traits in others that I meet and underdstand the part I play in engaging them in narcissistic behavior. My relationships are much better particularly because of the strategies to know myself, embrace reality and set boundaries. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand why a person is narcisssistic and how it affects us in relationships.
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A definite must-read!
After breaking-up with my boyfriend of several years, I started searching for answers to explain his unreasonable behaviors. I started looking into personality disorders and came across this book. For anyone who has experienced a narcissist, this is a must read! By the time you get done with the book...even before you're done, actually...you will understand so much more than you did. Your questions will finally be answered, and you will learn that you're not crazy afterall!
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 Too Technical
"Why is it Always About You?" starts off being quite helpful but then falls into the "why did I start this" catagory. The book becomes very technical after the first couple of chapters and the jargon becomes disruptive to the non-professional reader's apprection of the subject.
I didn't finish it and am now looking for something in a more "reader friendly" format. Big dissappointment.
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Perfectly titled volume! ( nononotnevernonotnevernomore )
If you run from the narcissist in your life, you'll always be running, because there's always another one waiting around the corner. I am not speaking about physical abuse or horrifying marriages. I'm talking about the self-absorbed monsters that we frequently have to deal with at work, socially, or (God forbid) our own families.
It's better to be fully prepared to deal with those who somehow manage to suck all the oxgyn out of the room as soon as they enter than beat yourself up wondering why you have such a problem in your life. They are the problem, and they are probably the problem in every relationship they have ever been in.
If the realationship you are having with a narcissist is not of the "disposable" variety -- if it will not cost you unduly to walk away -- then this excellent book will teach you ways to take control as best you can with as little cost to you as possible.
However, I must add that if your exposure to one of these monsters has involved physical abuse to yourself or a child (or severe emotional trauma) get away by any means possible. There's no negotiating safety issues!
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Addiction
