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THE THERAPIST PSYCHOLOGIST BOOK STORE
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Radical Collaboration: Five Essential Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and Build Successful Relationships By James W. TammRonald J. Luyet ( Collins Business )
Release Date: 2005-12-01
Average Customer Rating:
List Price: $15.95
Price: $11.65
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Product Description
What is Your Collaborative Intention? James W. Tamm and Ronald J. Luyet provide tools that will increase your ability to collaborate. You will learn to be more aware of others and how to problem-solve and negotiate. Collaborative skills have never been more important, and these skills are absolutely necessary for today's workplace. Radical Collaboration is a how-to-manual for anyone who wants to create trusting, collaborative environments, and transform groups into motivated and empowered teams. It is an eye-opener for leaders, managers, HR professionals, agents, trainers, and consultants who are seeking constructive ways of getting the results they want.
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 Radical Collaboration: 5 Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and ... ( doctor_esl )
It's a good book.
I recommend it to anyone who needs to build better relationships with their co-worker, managers, and or spouse.
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 Great concept but lenghty and overly simple book ( mguerville )
The theory behind the book is great and certainly works, however the book in itself is highly disappointing due to great lenghts to go over basic concepts with fake cute-ish examples and practical exercises that do not really provide a plus.
It really seems to dumb down every detail to fill the standard 250 pages but would be much better in 20 good pages.
Concept and theory explained in the book: 4.5/5
Reading experience : 1/5
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 HELPFUL
Discovering the nature of defensiveness and "button pushing" was invaluable for me personally and for being able to now see it in others. I just loved Chapt. 2: "Hey, Buzz Off ... I Am Not Defensive!"
Quoting:
"Defensiveness is a poison pill to good relationships. In conflict, defensiveness is like blood in the water to a shark. A little here, a little there, and in no time the situation has degenerated into a feeding frenzy."
"Defensiveness is always based on fear."
"Defensiveness does not defend us from others. It arises to protect from experiencing our own uncomfortable feelings. The prescription for dealing with your own defensiveness is to let yourself experience those feelings. Do not avoid them."
"Defensiveness provides only temporary relief. It's like covering dog poop with whipped cream. It may look good and smell better for a short time, but it doesn't deal with the underlying issue or clean up the mess."
"If you think of your childhood as an eighteen-year-long hypnotic induction, you'll get a better idea of how behaviors that were helpful to us as children may have taken on a life of their own and my not be helpful to us as adults."
"Defensiveness distorts our reality, causing us to spend more energy on self-preservation that on problem solving."
This was great, too:
"The difference between a small annoyance and a button is like the difference between Teflon and Velcro. It is slips off you like Teflon, it is not a button getting pushed. If, however, the incident sticks in your throat, heart or gut like Velcro, then you've probably got some unresolved fears or pain that is a button waiting to be triggered."
The authors say that when buttons get pushed, people typically get dumber, rather than smarter. "By our informal calculations, there is about a twenty-point drop in IQ."
Because of this book, now when I feel my anger rising from what someone else is saying, I tell myself, "Hey, is this defensiveness? If so, am I going to let myself get dumber or try instead to see why the button pushing is making me react poorly?"
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The Secret Behind Collaboration
"As a management consultant the most important thing is to be deeply grounded in the concepts I use in the client environment. To understand the background, the deep meaning of a concept, the theory, the research, and framework connections to other theories is critical.
In Radical Collaboration I find theory, research, exercises, relevant experience from the authors, and connections to other theories integrated as a whole. The authors reflect their philosophy in each chapter by being open and sharing their own experiences, examples and struggles. They successfully create an atmosphere of curiosity where the reader is invited to explore and to make choices and find their own path to self awareness. Radical Collaboration gives me a pedagogical structure for my own understanding and better tools/exercises with clients.
This book will be an eye opener for many people around the world who want to increase their effectiveness in professional relations as well as their effectiveness in all relations. People who are not content with mediocre communication and relations will find great pleasure in the book. Radical Collaboration will be a great experience for newcomers as well as for experienced consultants."
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an essential lifeskill
As a mediator and conflict resolution coach, I regularly come face to face with people's fear of conflict. This book reduces the feeling of risk by keeping the focus on the positive problem solving required to get what you need while respecting the dignity of family, friends, customers or colleagues.
It captures everything my clients pay me for at a fraction of the price. However hard you try to ignore it, everyone has some issue with someone in their life, this book will immediately help you understand, take baby steps and move toward the solution that will make for a happier relationship.
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Addiction
